Now see here, I have decided that I am going to take the month of August off of work; basically, I work quite long hours during the rest of the year and I have to travel quite a bit so I am quite tired. I know you have paid a lot of money in taxes to buy me a second home, furnish it, keep an office, hire staff, pay for a few luxuries, not forgetting a generous salary; however, like I said, I am a bit tired so I am going got do it anyway. I work on your behalf in a stressful environment and everyone I work with deserves the same.
Don’t be surprised, I am allowed 85 days off, People think thats unfair but it is not... I am just taking August - as in September I have decided that I shall do some work nearer home…Nobody ever thinks to mention that I work in September! I expect a hysterical response from the masses because they are too thick to understand that I really am working hard. If you get upset reading this then you may well be hysterical or thick, or both.
Also, I normally take August off, or I have for the last four years since I have been in this job; usually I “phone in” a couple of times each day,… so technically even though I am at home, on a beach or in a bar you really should recognise that this is a sacrifice I make for you. But this year, I feel I deserve a break so I am going off for a month and I am not going to phone in, I will be incommunicado.
I really don’t see why anybody could be upset in the slightest.
Nb. I am not really… but I have paraphrased someone who is. See Here.