I am able to reveal, courtesy of a top secret source that The United Kingdom will announce that it is to become a Republic tomorrow on 2nd April 2009 when the Queen will attend the G20 meeting alongside Gordon Brown and world leaders and declare that on the advice of her government she is to stand down as Monarch, Head of State for the United Kingdom and all Commonwealth countries and head of the church of England at the end of 2009.
Gordon Brown will on the 1st January 2010 ascend to be the Head of State for the United Kingdom, and of all Commonwealth Countries, His official title will be that of “Lord Protector of the Realm” rather this is to observe historical precedence, rather than inventing the title of President, which it was feared would be viewed as gaudy. Despite this ascension, it is expected that he will then travel the world in early 2010 and officially “hand back” commonwealth countries to their native inhabitants and national Parliaments. It is planned that all countries will have had a “hand back” ceremony by late March 2010, with the possibility of Scotland Devolving from the Kingdom and holding their ceremony last on 1st April 2010. The Falklands, Gibraltar and the Channel Islands will remain part of the UK Republic.
Dr Brown will also assume the full role as head of the Anglican Church. My source stated that it is unclear if this title will be tied to the role of Lord Protector, or will remain with Mr Brown for the rest of his life; and further still if that will then become a hereditary position or if like the Pope a committee will select a successor after his death. Gordon is said to favour the Church role staying with him, as and I quote “it will give him something to do later on in life.”
Prince Charles is said to be "Gutted".